RAHELI
 

What are your preferred pronouns

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He/We is what I prefer 

 

What labels are you comfortable using

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N/A I have been so distant from everything that I never put weight on how others perceive me in that sense 

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At what age did you have Queer-wakening

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 23, yeah, 23 much later. Much later than the actual young people. It's just that high school I used to be around girls a lot but they were just mostly friends. And then I was in an all-boys school which was a hell hole in its own. Well, there if you are rumoured to be gay in any way you are beaten up like in the four years I was there like 6 people had to leave the school because of that.

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What events to lead to your queer- wakening

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I just met somebody and at the time I didn't know he was gay. By that time I had only dated girls, so he was being very forward, in retrospect I realise he was being very forward but because I didn't know the cues and he thought I knew the cues. He would show up at my workplace, hang out with me and I'm like "Oh! that's just what a cool friend thing to do" but then I think he got impatient and started being a lot more forward about it and at the time I wasn't dating anyone and I was like yeah he is a cool guy and I'm attracted to him so why not.

 

Have you come out to your family and would you come out them

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No, no... I've always thought about it but my mum, first of all, she dislikes anything to do with that and I learnt that very funnily, I didn't know I thought that....she is very progressive in everything but I learnt what she was like when we were watching with her an interview on tv with Binyavanga Wainaina who is someone's I have looked out since I was a kid because of just how he talked and everything and I got to meet him once and I loved his work. So one day we were watching and my mum was like "Ugh these gay people they are coming here to destroy our country" and my dad is even more conservative than that, I wouldn't because once I start that conversation there are many things they will want to know and I have also seen what happens to other people when they come out to their families. For better or for worse I have seen what happens. Umm, and among more closer friends we have decided to just keep it away. Especially if the extended family knows. My own family is not what I am afraid of, extended family cause they shan you very easily. I know my mum won't but... and anyway since I date both men and women, she tends to meet the women a lot more than the men. The men have never been interested in like meeting with her. Though if it was like somebody I am spending my life with I would definitely introduce and then run away. 

 

Are there any queer people you look up to

 

Opph...forgive me for not knowing their names but umm... It's mostly the African ones, the ones who are constantly fighting these things. Binyavanga, and the likes. People who are open and are fighting for everyone. Because as much as it is easy to say everyone needs to open up and show up and fight and make noise, it's not possible you need the ones to fight, the ones to support and all that. Especially in Uganda. If I was to name a Kenyan, Jim Chuchu is a cool guy. He is a really cool peeps. so like for example when he came out his entire family disowned him. But he's amazing in his own way

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How would you describe your style 

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(Deep sigh) laid back, muted, in the background. I tend to like looking as normal as possible and never really sticking out. Not for any real big reason, it's just what it became. So mostly greys and blacks. Umm, yeah just plain, no labels no printed anything anywhere

 

Does your sexuality influence your style 

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No. I wouldn’t say that. 

 

Do you think there are any safe space for the Queer community 

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I wouldn't say I am knowledgeable of all the space and I don't know which ones are safe. From what I have seen a lot of people are creating more self spaces. I think there are a lot more people creating those spaces for their own groups.  I have seen a lot of that over time. Whether it's in the art circles, whether it's in the professional people, umm, not sure about the sexual side of things. Hmm, who knows. Cause that one you would have to get even more underground. But there are people creating safe spaces but I don't think there is one large safe space. Kenya,  I don't even know the situation in Kenya, like people aren't outwardly hostile. But then you can also see it from an individual to individual basis, somebody will have a story. There is always a story. 

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Do you think that LGBT rights will be realised in our lifetime

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In our lifetime, yes but it won't be anytime soon. The current crop have to leave first that's just the reality of that cause they are a very self-interested bunch of people and I think it's even unfair to make them tackle this thing. You're giving something very big to a group of people who wouldn't care less and to make matters worse we have a president who doesn’t even careless. Even being put in the centre for the whole world to see, he will say Kenyans don't care about this and some do what does that say? 

 

I honestly, and it's a bad way of thinking and I don't say this a lot but the tolerance levels Kenya is at with LGBT community is good for now. We can only build it up more and more to become accepted and I just don't want it to get to the point to outright hide like outright just can't come out of their house can't talk to their friends about anything cause now people are a bit more open in like expressing themselves and I say that from like my friends. They are way more open about expressing it, they are on Instagram, umm, places like Uganda you can't do that. Tanzania you can't do that. You can't tell anyone. Your best friends are your worst enemies because they could just be as bigoted as everyone else. So I guess its progress it may seem like there is a framework that they use in sociology is like umm when two different communities, two different mindsets come together large communities come together let's say foreigners come to a country then they stay together there are stages of integration. We are at the tolerance stage, which is the second stage out of the five, the first stage is what you are asking whether we will get those rights like everyone else. I know for me it won't affect me that much unless now I chose to be with a dude my whole life, but I know I am close to a lot of people whom it will affect right now they can't do anything about it. It will, I think it will, Kenya can do it. 

 

What Phrase, word or Sentence would you use to describe the Kenyan Queer 

 

Fragmented...I have, I'm designer, so I have done work for Ugandan LQBT communities and groups and also Tanzanian ones, and with Kenyans, it's just interacting with them on a friendly or maybe met them at an event or through a friend of a friend. And you meet everyone from all walks of life and I feel like seeing it’s very fragmented.

 

For better or for worse and I don't say it in a bad sense, because there are some benefits to the fragmentation because as a result of the fragmentation a lot of people would otherwise face the discrimination don't receive it. Because we are in all sorts of places and no one can keep up with that but also the fragmentation can be in such a way that it becomes like insular groups fighting for themselves or having their own way of doing things. For example, I'm Bi, but a lot of people wouldn't say that counts you know because I am not fully on one side, I wouldn't face the same amount of discrimination because maybe I can just easily date a girl to save face. And that's the truth I have done that but not really cause I'm dating a girl to seem normal. Cause I like, she's a cool person and that's why I like people in general. So I even keep it to myself, even most of the time I meet people who are LGBT I don't even bring it up.  

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WE ARE... FRAGMENTED